Where do I belong
by WinglessLittleAngel
Summary: shunned from the world as a child here is my painfilled story. Jeff the killer X oc warning . They made me a monster .
1. Chapter 1

Where do I belong?

I don't own any creepy pasta or black butler i own my self in this story thou .

Song: why cant i even dream

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"I'm nothing, worth nothing, just taking up space in the world. " I was the first born child in my family, well not really. My parents had a baby boy who died during birth so I was the second born made first, about one and a half months later after my fourth birthday , my baby brothers were born premature so I fade into the back ground only being notice when I messed up, so I grew to crave attention like now . I was carving into my skin words I was made to believe. I stopped when my phone started to ring, my friend, my only life line, Lauren. "Ashlee are you okay, you haven't called me like normal in about a week." Her voice was sweet and kind, something I grew to cherish , I-I loved her so much , so much she didn't know I would die to gain her love forever .

"I'm okay, I-I've just been busy all week." I felt my warm blood running off my forearm out of the word ' Whore' the pain had faded every time I've done this so now I only felt a sting and then warmth , the warmth was like some one holding me close. "Okay, are we still up for spring break? " Lauren's voice was chipper and I could imagine a cherubic smile on her face. "Sure, little dear." I was feeling the comfort of the tingling warmth leavening me. "Okay but I have to bring a few people with me." I hung up on her after that desperately wanted my warmth back. My blood had tainted the grey carpet a dirty red grey mix. "They will suffer for the pain they've caused me." Part of me I've kept quiet, the side that wanted my family, and those who cause me pain, to die.

My favorite character was Jeff the killer; he did what I wanted to do, kill family. I've tried many times, too many to count , every time I've gone too my brothers to get them first, my humanity tells me to stop, well not telling me to stop more like yelling and fighting to keep them alive. I heard my parents and younger brothers come home so I quickly bandaged my arms and slipped on my red hood and left for down stairs. "Dinner everyone." I walked into the kitchen only to turn into my mom's knife as she turned around. I made a gasping sound,' she stabbed me, she stabbed my eye!' Something twisted and snapped I went into a blind rage; I pulled the carving knife from my eye socket and tackled my mother.

I didn't see my mother; all I saw was a part of my life that needed to be snuffed out to kill my pain. "I'M NOT USELESS YOU BITCH! I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET YOUR ATTENTION FROM MY BROTHERS!" I was swinging the sharp carving knife into my mother's chest and abdomen again and again until she stopped moving and my father was trying to pull me off. He was next I cast the carving knife aside as he tried to revive her. I grabbed the bread knife and ran its serrated blade against my thumb, my beloved warmth returned and kept the fire of pain and hate going. "She isn't coming back, why don't you join them daddy, my brother will join you both soon any way." I stabbed the knife into the base of his through and twisted it." W-why this." He garbled out." Because you treated me like shit for eleven years and two months. I'm just giving you what you sowed." I kissed his forehead before all of the life drained from his eyes.

"Good night daddy, goodnight mommy. I'm going to tuck my brothers into bed now." I soaked the blood from my destroyed eye up with a peace of my mother's dress. I retrieved my carving knife from the floor, I wasn't going to massacre my baby brothers I was going to make them sleep, and save them from this cruel world. I walked up stairs to their room and knocked. "Its big sister, I need to come in." the door opened and a scream came from my oldest baby brother, Trace. 'No don't kill them let them live!' It's too late I have to protect them from this world. "Goodnight baby brothers, I love you." Trace was first I quickly snapped his neck so he couldn't feel any pain. "Ashlee, why are you doing this?" Jared's ice blue eyes gazed at me with sadness and pain, like mine. "I can't save you, you've suffered like me Jared. "A stray tear slipped from my hazel eyes, I hugged him close and left out the window shattering it as I passed threw it. When my feet hit the ground I ran into the woods, it was hard to see, my good eye was gone. My blood loss kicked in , how much had I lost? I heard a static fizz in the calm air . like when you played slender and slender man was near you . "I tried to save them god I really did, but I couldn't kill my last baby brother. He was already like me. "My soul was in pain as my two sides conflicted a song came out .

"_Desperate and so lonely, I've looked for you.  
And left behind all that I had ever longed for.  
Cold winds scream through my ears like a banshee.  
A freezing chill- A pain that still will forever haunt me._

Yet I have made it here  
Running through all the fear.  
The sadness in my heart retains the pain.  
And if I fall, I've learned  
That I may not return.  
None of my love remains.

Yet I have made it here.  
Make this pain disappear.  
My one and only, Prince Charming.  
And still I wonder, why can't I even dream?

Tears fall like a rainstorm I barely see.  
A twisted grin broken within. Am I going crazy?

Yet I have made it here  
Bearing this love, my dear.  
Bearing the weight of it upon my knees.  
And if I scream your name  
It's not returned in same  
I bed, forget me please.

Yet I have made it here.  
Make this pain disappear.  
My one and only, Prince Charming.

(And still I wonder, why can't I even dream?)  
And still I wonder, why can't I even dream?"

I looked up while singing and saw something threw my blurred vision. A white blob with black holding it up, what was it? "So you've caused the panic. We could use you; _He_ needs a playmate any way." I passed out in the warm strangers arms.


	2. Chapter 2

PART 2

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I was floating in the darkness. I can't feel, I can't see, all I can do is listen. I heard the sounds of metal and glass clinking. "Jeff stops moving her I need to sew that eyelid closed, bandage it and then move onto the other cuts and bruises." a deep yet calming voice bellowed. "I'm bored thou Slendy." Another voice, this one was much higher then the first voice but still male. I felt my fingers twitch when something messed with a nerve. "Whore, Bitch, Useless? What are these doing carved into her arms? "Some feather light touches traced each word. Then my other sleeve was rolled up. "This one is for you." The same male's voice read that out. I felt tears leave my working eye. 'I won't ever get to see Lauren, ever again.' "Mom, Dad, Trace, I'm sorry, but you're safe now I just wished I could have sent Jared with you. Now he's alone in this world of hate and spite." My mouth had started to work again. "Is she awake now?" that voice, Jeff, I guess.

"I'm up,"' I thought wait now I'm a murder, people are looking for me!' "DON'T SEND ME TO THE COPS! I WON'T WORK WELL IN A MENTAL INSTUTUTE!" A chuckle caught my undivided attention, my good eye glazed over. At my side was the first crush of my life! Jeff the mother fucking killer! "OH MY GOD ITS YOU!" and as if on cue glomp. I didn't care that I was in my bra, jacket and underwear. I was near someone I loved. "Good you'll be excellent playmates and Jeff will leave me alone." Slenderman, Slenderman saved me. With that thought I fell off Jeff paralyzed while thinking. "YOU SAVED ME?! "My brain was frying try to think. Slenderman is supposed to kill people who go in his forest. "He sure did you looked like death warmed over. Now you look like –"A tendril slapped across Jeff face. "Jeff get her some clothes while I finish this last cut." A cut was being stitched by a tendril as Jeff left.

Slenderman left me in the empty room when he finished me. The room's only features were a lamp a mirror and the door. Jeff didn't tell me what I looked like so I wondered. I final got up and looked.

_**I was a monster!**_

A neat row of stitches wound around my stomach, another straight line of stitching held my right wrist up closed. My face was the worst not only was my right eye sewn shut, a new layer of skin was stitched over it. Bandages littered my body; my left cheek had a square of surgical gauze taped to it. The curve of my lips were sewn back together like a smile.

A feral scream ripped threw my through as I ripped the lamp from the wall darkening the room to black, I knew where the mirror was. I began smashing the metal lamp into its glass. The door way illuminated its self behind me. My only care was getting rid of the mirror. "YOU'RE NOT ME, YOU CAN'T BE ME!" my screams turned to hysterical sobs and silenced to nothing as I lost my energy. "Slendy isn't going to be happy about this. " Jeff's voice was leavening the door way. His foot steps fell silent as he left to get someone. In the shards I saw my face again, the monster I now was… "I deserve this. For what I did, to Jared. I'm sorry." I laid there silently crying as more foot steps entered the room. "This is why we shouldn't have left the mirror here or told her about her self appearance. "A few tendrils dressed me gently as if I were made of fragile glass.

"I forgot to ask," Jeff's face move in front of mine. I didn't jump or flinch like I think he expected I would. "What's your name?" I felt four eyes bore into my soul. "I don't remember any one but my brothers." I looked to the floor. A pure white hand lifted my face up , Jeff studied my face , or what was left of it . "You look like a…. Rose. A bloody, broken rose." ' Rose was that my name? It feels right.'

"You can call me, karma. Like the saying karma is a bitch." My dry lips lifted to a weak smile." Karma Rose. Good name kid." Jeff was thirteen when I was fifteen and a half, that was two years ago. 'I'm no kid. "He gave a slight questionable look. " I'm seventeen and a half." I kept talking with him, until I felt blood running down my face, a stitch had busted, I was used to pain so I warded it off. Jeff did something I wouldn't have expected. He _licked_ the trail of blood trail from my cheek up to the busted stitching near my eye brow. That made me panic and jump up fleeing from the room not him. Running was tearing open the cuts on the back of my legs, I was having fun. I let out a glee full laugh as I ran.

I heard someone say 'stop her' as they too were laughing. I was tackled to the ground by two smaller bodies. I thought I was back to better days. "Trace, Jared let me go!" I was laughing harder; I guess my laughter is contagious because the two smaller bodies were quivering with laughter too. "I sound like a retarded hyena." I was calming down a lot as we lay in a pile panting for breath as Jeff walked towards us. "Hi. I'm under two bodies of people I don't know." In Jeff's bloody cracked lips I saw a genuinely happy smile. "Come one guys get off her. "


	3. Chapter 3

I have a need for input guys . Should I make Karma take a pair of twins from a family she will kill or would she and Jeff have her own?

pM ME IF YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA!

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I've been here in the... I forget the name but its below earth's surface for a week and I've only met masky, hoody, Jeff, and Slenderman. So I was in the living room cross-legged on the floor with smile in my lap. The three were asking me questions. "What is your birthday?" Masky asked me politely. "November 16, I can't remember the year. " My memory is kind of slipping in places. "What made you snap like ya did? " Jeff asked looking kind of jealous of something in my direction. Smile whimpered and left my lap. "I was ignored up until I messed up at anything, then I was nagged on until I fixed the problem. After I did, I was once again forgotten. The night I got brought here my mom had stabbed me in the eye , I can't remember anything until I saw my brother Jared's eyes. I couldn't kill him with those eyes, a reflection of my own eye, staring back at me. "I picked at the stitching on my wrist, until a swift pain erupted from my lower back and my lower stomach. I fell over instinctively clutching myself.

" MOTHER OF FUCKS!" Periods have their way of sneaking up on me. "What's happening?" Masky went to poke my lower stomach. "Touch me and I'll slit your throat while you sleep." I was in some serious pain. Masky backed away quickly. "Are there any girls I can talk to, like right now?" I don't have any of the things I need right now. "No why? " I groaned and got up quickly.

I was in my old town's Wal-Mart wearing a fake hospital wristband with slender man and Jeff. They altered their forms so they could go with me.

"What are these?" Jeff held up a box of tampon from my cart. "Tampons dumb ass, thing I use to stop vaginal bleeding." When I said that he threw the box back into the buggy. I was waddling down the candy isles', having a wadded up rag stuck into your feminine parts makes it hard to walk at any rate. I tossed a box of junior mints and an almond heresy bar in the buggy. Jeff had wondered off during the shopping trip so slender went to find him. I guess he deemed me responsible enough to shop on my own for a little.

As I past the infant section I stopped to look around.

'I wish I could have them back.' I thought as I caressed my stomach. A year ago I was a victim of an unwanted sexual advance; I was at a party someone in my grade threw. One of the foot ball boys cornered me in the parent's bedroom. A few months later I left school to take care of myself and my unborn children. I had grown to love the little beings I sheltered in myself, even if I hated the father. I found out that the twins weren't identical, one was a boy the other was a little girl. Then that day happened. The twins I so lovingly protected died in my womb. They just up and died a week before their due date, the doctor had told me one's heart had stopped and the other's cord choked it to death. That's when I had started to really seclude myself. I wiped my tears away and picked up a pair of tiny mittens. "God why do you torment me; you've taken my babies, and my family what more do you want?" I continued to the cash register. The cashier was a sweet looking old woman. She scanned my items , while she did it I looked down to the floor.

"What happened dear? " I looked up into her eyes. Her eyes showed empathy and curiosity. "I was in an accident a few days ago; I lost my right eye in it. " She nodded and bagged my groceries. I pulled out my wallet and paid her. Slenderman was dragging Jeff from the near by game stop.

I lay in my room alone holding the pair of baby mittens. That's how I was for maybe a few hours, I don't know. My door was flung open and a little body threw its self on my bed. "Hi I'm sally!" In front of me was an energetic looking little girl, but it made my heart hurt. Her face was streaked in blood. "Ooooooh what are these?" The little being snatched from my hands the baby mittens and took off down stairs. "Sally gives those back!"I started chasing her down alarmingly fast. "Slendy what are these?"

TBC


	4. Chapter 4 lemon warning

I've made my first lemon wow!

The continue action is about four days after the baby clothing event.

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_**Please don't let our love turn out to be such a tragedy like it was for Juliet  
Take me away into your arms...  
It's all I ask of you**_

'How did I fall in love from a picture of him?' I watched Jeff as I thought. Everyone is terrified of him, they think he's a monster, but I don't see it. All I see is a broken soul like me, something I want. If only he knew how I had to keep my self in my room so I wouldn't try to jump him. I lost one love of my life; I wouldn't let him get away. I let my mind wonder because I couldn't stop lust from taking it over.

_**I say good night to both my Father and my Mother  
I hope they'll be able to dream of one another  
I think it's time that all the grown ups go to bed**_

**Enchanting caramel that carries sweet illusions**  
**My crossing legs that bring on sexual confusion**  
**How farther will I let you go on this sinful night?**

'I've come to enjoy pain so how about a little sadist and masochist love?' I thought as I liked my lip in thought.

My mind went to work on that fantasy.

Heavy breathing and creaking of the bed filled a barely lit room. I saw Jeff leaving a lot of bite marks any where he could. Some of them were teeth marks the others were bleeding freely onto a crisp white bed sheet.

"_Jeff stop it." _ My daydream was enjoying all of the nips and cuts she was getting from the mental version of Jeff I had created. _"Why should I Kar-ma." _ He in a point to prove, bit down on the side of her neck enough to cause it to start bleeding. Both day dream me and me started to moan a little more then loud, but I snapped back to reality to stop myself. I attracted the eyes of two smaller people sally and hoody, maybe even Slenderman behind me was wondering. "I'm going to go to my room now." I jumped up from my seat at the table and glided up the stairs to my room.

Screams of pain to "take it easy! Won't you bite me gently?"  
"Don't you dare forget that I'm not ready quite yet?"  
It's because of my mom that I've been acting sweetly and nice to you

I locked my bedroom door and flung my self on my bed. My brain forced its self into another situation this one less pain inflicting. But still not sweet and soft like other people would do it.

I was lying back on my hands that were tied tightly behind me, my legs were spread far apart almost painfully, and my ankles were chained to the two posts at the edge of the bed. Jeff sat between my legs still some what clothed, as far as boxers went, and he was holding something but I couldn't see what it was. "Spread them farther." Jeff's voice was actually more sinister and commanding then I thought it would be. I shivered at the mental porn going on in my brain but let it keep going.

"I can't that's as far as they will go. "That answer was met with Jeff shoving my legs farther apart. The joints cracked in protest. "Stop it please that really hurt- Ahh!" as I started to finish my sentence I saw Jeff quickly push what ever he was holding in me. What ever it was it wasn't wet so it didn't go in with out some resistance. He and I are both very dominant people so I would fight back.

_**All the things that I don't know how they enchant me so  
But isn't that normal, or at least how it should go  
Show me all your feelings and I'll let you in my heart  
Oh, if only you knew this from the start...**_

**I feel so in love just like Cinderella**  
**And I will chase after you wearing only my glass shoes**  
**I pray to God for time to come to a halt**  
**Before the evil can come leaving us both at fault**  
**Now, I have to escape just like Juliet did**  
**But please don't call me by that name, we aren't the same**

"What the hell was that!" I tried my hardest to wrap my legs around him but he just shoved them apart again. "You can't stop me just stop trying." Jeff dug his nails into my hips and dragged them down to my thighs. What ever he crammed in there it was getting hotter every minute it was in me. Between the abuse and the rising heat in my body I started to lose all thought process. I guess he saw that I wasn't responding to his abuse and growled. "If the outside won't work, I'll just have to try the inside." Instead of pulling the object out then putting it back Jeff used his palm and pushed it further in.

_**It's not okay, please I just want you to stay  
because without you here what is there for me to do?  
So if I cried, would you always be right here by my side?**_

**I try so hard to look like I'm older than my age**  
**I wear mascara to conceal the fact I'm in rage**  
**I promise you, I'll be a good girl from now on**  
**There's no one here to stop me from the things that I do**  
**I want some love so why don't you come please me, you fool**  
**How farther will we be able to cross the line**?

I tried to pull my body away but the chains on my ankles weren't long enough. I knew I was drooling and moaning from the abuse and heat. After a few minutes more Jeff put a hand on my hip and shoved his free hand's fingers into me to pull the thing out. As he pulled it out a string of what ever made down there so slick, kept it connected. I felt like even if I wanted to close my legs I wouldn't even be able to. "That's gross." Jeff wiped the ooze like substance on my stomach.

_**Now I know that this is true, I fell in love with you  
The pain is killing me, as I am screaming my pleas  
I think you know by now that my Father doesn't seem to like you much**_

**I can see your hands reach out, as I begin to pout**  
**And now I see it clear, you really love me my dear**  
**Take me far away so we can make love Romeo**  
**Oh, won't you fulfill my fantasies...**

**So I'll just run away like Cinderella**  
**I'll scream my love for you, while leaving you my glass shoe**  
**I'll pray to God that you'll come searching for me**  
**Save me from all my dreams, while I run away and flee**  
**Well, I'm sure that Cinderella was lying herself**  
**It's not an accident, she left her shoe on purpose**  
**I understand that she and I are the same**  
**Oh, I just want to be loved, so no more playing games**  
**So, just look for me and then you'll soon find what you seek**

I was starting to get bored so my mind sped the scene up. "Just fuck me now! " I was covered in sweat and other bodily substances, and with every twist of Jeff's fingers I forced myself down onto them. Every sign of my body was screaming for him to take me as hard as he could, and that he did, with the pace we kept raising it was almost inhuman. The head board banged against the wall so hard I would have wondered what would break first if I wasn't so preoccupied. After what seemed like hours, with a bite to my neck Jeff quieted him self and left me to moan out as loud as I could as we rode out the high that clouded our minds.

_**Why don't you just take a look and see what I have hidden in the corners of my heart?  
Can you see that it's filled with all of my dirty thoughts and all my needs and my wants?  
I want you to fill me up until I burst out forth and give into my desires  
I'm drawn into ecstasy, oh, how I feel so free, please tell me what it could be ?  
But if I lose you, I wouldn't know what to do**_

**My happiness seemed to be stored in a box, I need to find the key so I can open the lock**  
**I'm scared in pain, but I won't cry out in vain**  
**The thought of you hating me, I know it couldn't be**

**Well, my mom and my daddy don't care about me**  
**They aren't different yet, they are the same as can be**  
**I'll stop my lies, and I'll be true to myself**  
**I'll just stick to the facts, I dropped my golden axe**

_**So, If I keep lying too much like Cinderella  
I know I'll meet the fate that she alone had to face  
I'm really scared, and I have no clue what to do  
But, I hope I don't end up just like her too  
So before that happens, won't you come and rescue me**_

I smiled to myself as I rolled onto my back. "When did I become such a pervert?" I asked myself aloud. I fell asleep awhile later that night.

Maybe one night I could drug him or maybe get him drunk and take advantage of him later.


End file.
